THE INBETWEENERS

There’s an ancient proverb can be heard echoing through any schoolyard across the country, it goes: ‘first the worst, second the best and third the nerd.’ As a middle child, these are the words I live by.

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From the moment we’re conceived, we ‘inbetweeners’ are pre-maturely diagnosed with ‘middle child syndrome’, an incurable disorder that impairs us with a constant feeling of neglect, a resentful outlook on life, an endless supply of hand-me-downs, and a little voice in the back of our heads that never stops telling us that we simply don’t belong. This is what psychologists once believed at least.

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However in a world where innovative thinking is encouraged, and a society that is constantly pushing the boundaries on social norms, surely it’s time we shift our views on birth order, and introduce middle children to the spotlight.

While studies have shown that being sandwiched between an over-achieving elder sibling and an indulged younger child, combined with parental neglect, can cause numerous personality issues and disorders, the ‘Malcolm in the middles’ of today’s society are out to prove them wrong.

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Maggie Batchelor is about to enter adulthood, and is the second of four children, all still living in their crowded family home. Her competitive nature, creative touch and peacekeeping duties label her as the family’s inbetweener.

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“Being a middle child, I would say, has really helped working in a team situation since I have to play negotiator between my siblings sometimes, and even between my parents and siblings.”

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“I think it’s shaped me quite a lot…I used to follow what my sister did and because of her I discovered music. I learned that I’m not good at math, because I tried to beat my brother at it. I’ve also learnt I’m not a good drawer like my sister or amazing at music as my younger brother. So everyone around me has helped me find myself by trial and error,” she said.

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“I more so fell into [the mould of a middle child] and never looked back, but I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing. I’m my own person when it comes down to it and that’s all you can ask for,” Batchelor added.

Although today’s youth refuse to conform to society’s pre-conceived notions of middle child syndrome, this hasn’t always been the case.

Annie Wallace grew up between her older sister and younger brother in the seventies, when the youth of the time rarely challenged common stereotypes held against them. Growing up, she never felt as though she had her time in the family spotlight.

“I was the second daughter and had a very clever, good sister.  I think I craved attention so was always naughty…my grandparents had a great love for my older sister as she was ‘no trouble’ so I always felt the odd one out in my younger years.  My Mum & Dad then went on to have their longed for Boy, so after he was born I once again I felt lost.”

“I had a very low self-esteem because of [being the middle child] when I was younger, due to the favoritism my grandparents had for my sister…if I had advise for my younger self now I’d say be yourself, you are your own person.  You will only look like your siblings but your head is an individual, so shine,” she added.

Developmental psychologist at the University of Queensland, Nicole Nelson also believes that studies suggesting middle child syndrome is a common issue in families with three or more children is dated.

“Recent work has focused less on whether you were born first or second, and more on how you perceive your role in the family.  It turns out that whether you feel like a middle child is more predictive of your development than if you were actually born a middle child.”

“Whether birth order influences kids is fairly controversial – when effects are found, they are small, and may be explained by things other than birth order… The effects are strongest when parents have previous expectations about what a first child should do, suggesting that it might be parents’ expectations that lead to these differences. Parents can try to avoid imposing their own stereotypes on their children” Nelson added.

Despite whether or not middle child syndrome really exists nowadays, and even if we inbetweeners do suffer from an occasional hand-me-down overload or feelings of resentment towards our parents, according to new research, we have a higher success rate than any other child.

The disadvantages we often endured throughout our childhood can prove beneficial to our development, equipping us with valuable attributes such as empathy, independence, articulacy and creativity.

The world demands flexible thinkers and risk takers to carry us into the future. Today’s inbetweeners, comfortable with pushing societal boundaries, possess the autonomy and instinct to thrive, succeed and conquer in this world.

First the worst, second the best, third the nerd…